So I should make the obvious even more obvious by stating it clearly. Pushing past the pain barrier does not mean ignoring the pain of an injury or a serious orthopedic problem. Those are not internal self imposed (although possibly self inflicted) barriers – they may be issues that should be identified and dealt with not ignored or arbitrarily pushed past for the sake of short term progress. And with a few exceptions they are not necessarily legitimate excuses for stopping or quieting.

The pain barrier obstacles I refer to in the video are the ones that stop us from banging out 10 or 12 reps when our body says stop at 8. It’s the self imposed weakness that shows up in the form of pain or discomfort just when we are about to break through to knew levels of growth either physical or emotionally.

The conditioned weak will use the discomfort of a simple hangnail or blister as an excuse for not showing up and unless you want that to be you – you must recondition yourself to push past pain and discomfort in the name of growth and development.

I think that how we look at and respond to our peers says a lot about how we feel about ourselves. If we can’t look at ourselves honestly, or there’s something we’re afraid to see, we’re more likely to give false praise. If we’re always beating ourselves up mentally, we might be more likely to see negative traits in others. Either way, our perception of others is always a projection of self-perception.

You said “seek constant learning in the pursuit of mastery” and reflect on being humble even when we are striving to be great. I feel like I respond and learn the most from others who have maintained an attitude of clarity about who they are and how they got there, and prefer the counsel and opinion of someone who is willing to share a story about their own struggles rather than a cheerleader. Having people around me who challenge me and are always a little further along than I am pushes me to stay honest and keep growing.

When I was in college (1995!), I was the only girl on the mountain biking team. I was always last, always the slowest and sometimes got discouraged. There was no way my teammates could puff me up with hot air, because I was obviously the weakest rider! But riding with faster and stronger riders subconsciously (and physically) pushed me to be faster and better than I would have ever gotten riding with people who were at the same level or below me. When I finally raced against other women who were more my size and stature, I was in the top percentage of finishers. I had no idea I was actually as good at is as I turned out to be and have since actively pursued experiences that put me in situations where I wasn’t the best.

I really appreciated this post as the more opportunities I have to present myself publicly, the more valuable this theme has become. It’s really great to celebrate achievements and feel good about successes, but they are most meaningful when I can look myself in the mirror and say without a shred of doubt, “I earned this.” That hollow feeling that comes from getting praise when we don’t quite merit it is something each individual has to determine for themselves, but guarding against the hot air of hubris is the herald of the strongest wind in our sails of achievement.

Great post.
-BR

I truly appreciate your perspective Chris and for sharing it without reservation. You’re awesome.

You are in it alone. You can’t lean on anyone. You have to do what you have to do. And accountability creates a release valve. An excuse, “my accountability partner screwed up, so I’m not going to do it.”

I have had accountability partners.

Then, I decided to fire them, keep my own counsel. I’ll never convince you of this, I don’t suspect, but the sooner people realize that they are in the fight alone, the sooner that they can grasp reality and act accordingly.