Have you ever had the experience of holding back or not doing something because you were afraid it wouldn’t be perfect?¬† Or maybe you doggedly and tirelessly worked on perfecting something before revealing or releasing it -and by the time you did (if you ever did) it was to late or you completely missed the impact it might have had earlier?¬†¬†Or maybe you got¬†so caught up in making sure it was “just right” that¬†you missed¬†out on the fun or reward of just freaking doing it.
It happens all the time.
I can remember as a stupid kid missing out on a really cool and what should have been fun bike ride all my friends were taking just because I had to make sure my bike had the perfect spit shine… I was seriously bummed.
Case in point:
Last week I sent out an email (perhaps you received it) announcing a very special teleseminar I was doing with lifestyle strategist, John Rowley. The email started with a silly spelling error that I nor my computers spell check (which I depend on heavily) had caught.
Here was the line from that email:
“If you have ever been asked for advise or have even been given advise… you already have an idea of exactly what coaching IS NOT!”
Did you catch the errors?¬† Of course you did… because you can spell better than I can and maybe even better than ” word spell check.”
The error of course is that I should have used the word  ADVICE with a C not an ADVISE with an S.
What you will read next was is an actual email (one line) I received based on that spelling error along with my response to that email. None of which should suggest that we should not seek perfection and mastery of everything we do but does point out the possible ramifications when we allow such a quest to blur the bigger and sometimes much more important picture or message or even the delivery of that message.
After reading – I would love your feedback and¬†opinion… not advice.
Received:
I suggest you coach yourself how to spell first.
Reply:
Hi ———–,
I truly appreciate your feedback, suggestion, and ADVICE and the time it took to formulate it.¬† On the other hand your coaching style is a little blunt‚Ķ but that’s ok no one expects you to be a coach and I am sure that was not your intention in the first place. It’s interesting, don’t you think – that the subject of my less than perfect email was about coaching vs. giving advice?
Now, because I can’t help but coach if you are open to it keep reading. ¬†If not, let’s leave it at – Thank You for the constructive feedback.
If you are still reading, please take what follows as a casual observation, feedback and yes some coaching, not advice.
I have long since understood that some people always, always, always look for what’s wrong or what’s missing instead of what is present and right. Like the improvements my spelling capabilities can clearly undergo, it might be helpful for you to recognize if you fit in the above category. ¬†It generally reflects a “what CAN’T be done” rather than a “how CAN it be done” attitude.
It shouldn’t surprise you that at a big conference I once wrote the word magnificent on the flip chart as “MAGNIFICANT.” ¬†When the error was less than politely pointed out to me I acknowledged my blunder and politely pointed out to the audience that if you focus on what is wrong you can easily miss out on what is right. ¬†I also suggested that what they had been focusing on is the word CANT ‚Äìand that they may also MAGNIFI‚ÄìCAN’T in many other areas of their life.
If I had been focusing on “I CAN’T spell well” and had let it stop me from communicating my mission I would never have written 7 RULES of Achievement and I would not be a #1 bestseller today nor would I have had the honor and privilege of helping thousands of people manifest their potential.
If blind mountain climber, Erik Weihenmayer had focused on the what was wrong “I CAN’T see” he never would have made it to the summit of Mt. Everest.
So the question is where else in your life have you been focusing on what’s not right, what’s missing, and the word CAN’T that perhaps has held you back in the past from risking what it takes to manifest your MAGNIFI-CAN?
Always with much respect and love,
Tom